right words, right moment II

I made this post a couple of weeks ago, but somehow disappeared...now it is back...

"Someday you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing..."

"But I really loved him."

"Big deal. So you fell in love with someone. Don't you see what happened? This guy touched a place in your heart deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching I mean you got zapped, kiddo. But that love you felt, that's just the beginning. You just got a taste of love. That's just limited little rinky-dink mortal love. Wait till you see how much more deeply you can love than that....you have the capacity to someday love the whole world. It's your destiny..."

"...but I seriously believed that (he) was my soul mate."

"He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so that you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over....(his) purpose was to shake you up...That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life..."

"But I love him"

"So love him."

"But I miss him."

"So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. You're just afraid to let go of the last bits of (him) because then you'll really be alone, and (you) are scared...of what will happen if you´re really alone. But here's what you gotta understand...If you clear out all that space in your mind that you're using right now to obsess about this guy, you'll have a vacuum there, an open spot - a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in - God will rush in - and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using (him) to block that door. Let it go."

Did you ever read a passage from a book and think that it was written especially for you, in this moment?? That is how I felt when I read this passage from "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. It was as if the character, Richard from Texas, was speaking directly to me, after Luccas recently broke up with me.

But I am not broken =) I am re-realising the depth of my character and spirit...and the richness of friendships and love that I am blessed to have in my life...expressed through phone calls, texts and e-cards from my parents and sister...mobile phone calls from Shanghai...text messages and emails from London, Singapore, Sarajevo...countless conversations over lunch, brunch, dinner and coffee with friends in São Paulo. I am so grateful for all the wonderful people in my life. Thank you to each and every one of you.

On Saturday I had a wonderful day of conversation, wandering and eating with Carol. After a delicious day in Vila Madalena, we went back to her place and called on the spirits of the Triple Goddess cards. I do not believe that this type of tarot cards predicts our inevitable futures, but they can offer us insights to help us best deal with our present. On Saturday they shared with me that:

- now I am being invited on a "return journey to home", to my spirit, represented traditionally by the car, which opens the way for us to look more deeply at our inner-self and discover the resources we keep there, to realign my relationship between body, soul and spirit.

- in order to shine as a "full moon", I should remember the poem by Marianne Williams, "Our Deepest Fear" ("Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond all measure...") and express my unique truth, talent and criativty more deeply

- the way to realise this potential in the world is to do everything with the passion of surrender...to leave aside my illusions of fear and loss...to trust in the universe, that it knows what it is doing

And trust I will...the universe has already earnt it. With much gratitude. x Zoe